Praise

Stop praising me, woman
Or all too soon
I will think I am too good for you
In my self-deluded midlife crisis,
I will be worthy of
Younger women
Cheaper women
More exotic women
I will imagine that my slightly pudgy gut
is akin to a washboard Adonis
That my receding gums do my smile justice
That the red in my eye turns a girl on
because it conjures up images of power
Wealth
Courage
That my chicken legs are shapely as a thoroughbred's
And that my hairless chest appears on Harlequin covers
Instead of an Ashley Wilkes
I will be Rhett
And you, my adoring Melanie
Will find me in the barn topping a naked Scarlett
And how can such a homely man as I
even on my knees begging and weeping
convince you to forgive me?

Copyright © 1999 by Hot Lizard Boy