Email me at hot_lizard_boy@yahoo.com!
Read more heart-rending (and horrible) poems!
by Hot Lizard Boy
I'll tell you what really bugs me
Why do you have to leave the atmospheric pressure
So damn low all the time?
I mean, sure, it's fine at night
But I get woozy during the day.
Oxygen does NOT cost that much.
I just feel like you don't care about me anymore
That's all
Besides
On your planet
I weigh 300 metric tons
Do you think that makes me feel very sexy?
It's no wonder I'm so tired all the time
That and you never clean up your own slime trail
Slime in the shower,
Slime on the kitchen floor
How you stand the mess is beyond me
Oh, so, now you're going out, huh?
All right. Just don't expect dinner when you get back
And I'm turning the oxygen on full blast.
I want to hear your story of alien abduction-turned-romance. *No tales of probing, please.